Creepy Crap, Crud, and More
by Jackie Jackie Spicer
Summary: When Wuya finds Chase in an awequard postion with a knockedout Jack Spicer, things get stired up in everyone, not to mention the fact that Chase might doom our whole future and condem himself!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Xiaolin Showdown. That, is Christy Hui's, not mine.**

I think I'm crazy to start a new story, but this won't fall through, like my other one. The ending got REALLY weak, and I can write action scenes like I can draw…crap.

DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE TITLE. I have no idea how I came up with it. If you do ask, I shall reply in a variety of ways depending on said question.

I will not make comments on this, but if I do, please slap me with a newspaper, for I shall try my best about jib jabbering here and at the bottom.

Please review nicely; no flames, though will be accepted and noted. I might even reply if I can make a solid argument, like with that one flame on my last story.

The person said that she had more right to the title then I cause hers was out first.

Mine was 'published' in June, while hers was in July.

That's not first.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy the story.

!JACKIE!

**Chapter One: Prologue**

Jack Spicer had his fair share of problems:

One; his hair is actually white, though he dyes it a fiery cherry-red. Being an albino and all, he thought it would make him look better. He thought he was dying his hair brown; he has a problem distinguishing his reds from his browns. No wonder his hair is like that.

Two; he's pale beyond comparison, do to the fact that he's albino, as I said before. He can't be in the sun more than an hour without turning beet red, let alone get a tan going, but thank goodness for very good sun-block; SPF (Insert number here).

Three; he's built like a scrawny, old lady. Well, at least his legs are. They are very skinny and chopstick like. His upper body, though still skinny, had more meat on it. I say he has a descent upper body, indeed. His whole reason to why he's skinny? He has this weird dieses or something, and he can't gain body weight. And if he can't gain body weight, he certainly can't gain muscles, can he?

Four; his eyes, though a quite exotic ruby-red, did get him in trouble when he was little. And when I mean by trouble, I mean people though stones at him and called him many names, trouble. Yes, people can't see that those ruby-red eyes are pretty and beautiful, not evil.

Five; he wears all black, all the time. Sure, his trench coat is cool, but wearing black all the time does not help you at all. Black makes you look paler, so pastels are much better. Like Good Jack; he doesn't seem as pale because he's wearing pale colors, while dark colors just make light things stick out. Get it?

Six; he wears eyeliner. People criticize and tease him about his make-up, but those people have never seen and/or much of Twisted Sister, Kiss, Avenge Sevenfold, Marilyn Manson, or much, MUCH more. I'm fact, maybe someday, they'll have a parade, and Chase is going to fall faint as he sees a gray girl, with a pink Mohawk, dozens of peircings and tattoos, and lots of eyeliner and black lip stick. That would be grand.

Seven; he smokes. Do to the fact that his mother's a smoker, her mother's a smoker, her mother was a smoker, and so on and so on, he has a craving for nicotine. He had never smoked before, but one day, he just had to have a cigarette, and thanks to his trusty fake I.D., he can buy his fix. His father and his family also had a bad time with the tobaccy; though, it was chewing. Still, it's genetics that got him smoking, and many others as well. Tsk, tsk; when will people learn that's it's not okay to smoke when you're pregnant?

Eight; this, my dear friends, is the real trouble.

He likes Chase Young.

Chase Young, one of the most evilest, bad-assed hotties in the whole world. Jack doesn't just like him… he LIKES him. Which brings me to our next point in this two-point…thing.

He likes Kimiko.

Kimiko, one of the smartest, cutest, fiery-hot (pun intended) girls…EVER! And Jack doesn't like her… he LIKES her.

Now, you see, that's the real problem.

Jack is bi-sexual.

No, I'm not dissing bi-sexuals, I'm just saying that, one day, when he's dating a girl or a guy, and he lets spill his opposite gender crush…

That would be a problem.

What happens when he's deepest, darkest secrets come to the view of all other peoples?

All Hell breaks lose...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One: Drunks, Smokes, and Wet Dreams**

(This is going to be a crap chapter… I had to scrap my first draft, cause it didn't get to the point quick enough! If I've ever sent you a personal message, you'd know I'm telling the truth! But this is better though. And this doesn't count! Kay? No newspapers, kay? I just need to get this out before I crush your hopes to the floor…)

* * *

Jack was in his lab, just hanging.

_Before I go on, let me describe the lab:_

_Now, when you walk down stairs, you automatically see a big computer, a workbench, desk, toolboxes, yadda, yadda._

_Now, if you turn to your right… turn to your right! GOD DAMN IT! TURN TO YOUR RIGHT! Your other right! THERE! Do you see a door? Good, now behind that door is a bathroom. Kay?_

_Now, turn left… GOOD! You turned left! Here's a cookie! –hands you a cookie-. See that door? That door has Nightmare Before Christmas junk in it, and Invader Zim, and many comic books, mangas, pin-ups, and stuff like that._

_Now, if you turn to the stairs, you see that there a little step. Now walk down that step… GOD DAMN IT! DON'T FUCKING TRIP ON IT! Idiot! –helps you up- Now, this is the wreck room part of the lab. On the right…the right…-turns your head- THE RIGHT! There a big, ten disk changer stereo, a small night stand like thing with an awesome lamp, and a big comfy couch…OH MY GOOOD! I loved that show when I was a kid! You know? The Big Comfy Couch? –singing- 'I don't remember' and Molly, A clown and her dolly, On the Big Comfy Couch! –coughs- Any way…_

_On the left is a pool table…on the left… THE LEFT! Good! You turned your head left! Here's another cookie! –hands you a cookie- There's a pool table, a dart board, a fifty inch T.V., which is MUCH bigger then I'm use to, a DVD player with a video cassette player as well, a Play Station 2 and maybe a 3 soon, an X-Box 360, a mini fridge, and shelves of games that would make Game jealous!_

_Strait ahead is some posters, shelves of DVDs and VHSs (which if you don't know what they are… you're too young to read this fic!), and some little action figures and stuff!_

_See? That's the general tour of Jack's Lair in my mind! Now, back to the story!_

Jack was hanging out in his swank lair!

How he was hanging you ask? Surely not naked! (DAMN!)

He was lounging on his couch, just acting lazy and what not.He went to grab something from the night stand when suddenly…

"JACK! I sense a new shen gon wu!" Wuya screamed…oh, and her eyes did that glowy thing too. Meh, I can't write really smooth.

"Wuya, please, I just want the day off…" Jack grabbed a box from the drawer.

"YOU INCOMPETENT BOY! YOU GET THAT SHEN GON WU, AND YOU GET IT NOW!" she got strait up into Jack's face.

"Wuya, how long have we known each other? What? Five years? And so far, you've been trapped in your little puzzle box thrice by those Xiaolin Losers, and in your ghost form, you have yet to hurt me, so why do I need to listen to you?" Jack had an uninterested face that could make anyone's blood boil if they were in Wuya's shoes.

Wuya scowled and cursed as she few through the wall.

Jack opened the box that he got from thenight standand took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. He's been smoking, about a before he met Wuya, so six years!

Or ever since he was thirteen, whichever measurement you rather have.

As Jack's nicotine level (PALINDROME!) heighten, he relaxed a bit. He rolled off the couch, landing with a big _THUD_. "Ouch! Stupid floor!" Jack rubbed his bottom. He crawled up from the floor and stumbled to the mini fridge in his wreck room.

He plopped back onto the couch with a beer at hand.With the remote in hand, cause no one goes up and turns on the TV like I, he popped on the boob tube.

"Junk, crud, snot, crud, double crud, BONER WORTHY, super crud, snot, COPS! Junk…………… heh, heh… wrestling…" Jack was mesmerized by the images of the over-muscled, but some how still attractive men on the TV set. Like flies to honey, his eyes scoped the buff bods of the men in tight leotards and costumes.

Jacklikes his wrestling.

Jack, about one year ago from August sixteenth, had come to grips that he was gay… but found out that he also was attracted to, more often then not, Play Boy centerfolds… and that made him a bit uncomfortable for a bit, but once you find out that some people that you thought you knew, were in fact in a somewhat similar situation as yourself, you don't feel so alone in the world (like me, and my wishing to see Jack Spicer naked, or Chase Young and Jack do it! -big grin-).

Sometimes being a freak isn't SO bad…

Jack flipped through the channels...yeah.

After about thirty minuets of WWE, thirty minuets of Samurai Champloo, three hours of Fooly Cooly (did anyone catch that marathon onthe fifth? Ahhh... good times, good time...), an hour of The Most Extreme (Predators Education), some Blood Hound Gang music video (cause everyone like how they do it on the Discovery Channel…XD), he got board.

Jack finished about five packs of cigarettes, and two six packs of beers during that time…and the beer wasn't light neither, and no, that's not why he watched education television nor Blood Hound Gang, cause I watch those on my free will (me likes to learn, and listen to pervertive music.).

He rolled off the couch, again, with an even louder**_ THUD_**,but laughed it off.

He stumbled, ever more so, across the lab to the stairs.

When he reached the top, he stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw in his kitchen.

There was Chase Young.

"Chase? (hic) What are you (tipsy, hic) doing here?" Jack rubbed his eyes.

"I came here because Wuya has been bitching at me for hours about you, 'incompetence'…" Chase growled.

"That (hic) bitch always barks, no bite… (hic) She only wants the wu for her own gain, but she should be working for me, cause (hic) I released her from that damned (hic) puzzle box (hic)…(tips)…2 of the 3 times! I'm the one with hand! (hic) I deserve the world!"

Chase could obvious see that Jack was drunk (...), "I think you've been, as you say, 'hitting the bottle too hard lately'"

"Chase! You may be sexy and cute, but you have no clues about my personal life!"

Chase's eyes widened, "Did you call me 'sexy and cute'?"

"Yeah? You are! You're-you're one of the most sexiest (hic)guys I've met! And I've met a lot (hic)of good looking males!" Jack stumbled over to the man and collapsed at his knees, "I'd be happy to do any thing for ya…" He rubbed Chase's legs.

Chase moved so sudden that he fell backwards. "Jack! Stop this incident! If I 'swung' that way, which I _don't_, you wouldn't be even on my LIST!"

"Chasey, Chasey, Chasey…(hic) I don't care… I still want you…meh heh,(hic) heh, hehee!" Jack crawled on top of Chase. He snuggled up under the man's chin.

Chase was blushing.

"Hmmm… you're so warm Chase, but this armor feels uncomfortable, maybe I should help you with it…" Jack rubbed Chase's shoulders, looking for a seam.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Chase changed into his powerful dragon form and knocked Jack off.

"Chase! You know? I think lizards rock!" Jack stumbled towards Chase. (LIZARDS ROXZ! Lizards, lizards, lizards...)

Chase, on the other hand, just swipe at the boy, knocking him out cold.

He calmed down and quickly morphed back to his human form tocheck if Jack was okay, "Wait, why I'm I checking if he's okay? I'm an evil guy!" But, Chase couldn't help but feel a little guilty… a litte…but a little goes a long way.

The boy was drunk, and the alcohol probably clouded his mind. He crouched next to the red head and looked at him carefully.

Chase ran his hands through the boy's hair, "So soft…" He swooped down lower to sniff it. "Smells like… slightly musky… like the 'Axe' crap, or whatever..." he took in the scent of the boy, letting the smell sink into his mind. He stared a few more minuets at Jack's face until finding interests else where, like realizinghow soft his skin was, or how evilly angelic his skin was.

(Boys at my school, put to make DAMN AXE ON! And why does it have to be Axe? CAUSE BOYS THINK THE COMERCALS ARE REAL! I'm not dissin', but when you use more then half the can in one sitting...STOP AND TAKE A SHOWER! That stuff is nice, but not when you can TASTE IT!)

It wasn't until Jack began to stir that Chase realized what he was doing.

He was practically on top of Spicer, feeling him up… well technically not 'feeling him up', but feeling him. He had to think quickly.

Chase jumped off of Spicer, dashed out of the kitchen, and flew out the living room window... wouldn't you?

--

Ten seconds later

--

Jack slowly, groggily, and painfully sat up. His head felt as though jackhammers were pounding, his brain exploded, there were millions of ear wings eating his brain, or a combination of all three. Your choice.

"Oooooo… my head…" he moaned. He grabbed the table ledge and hoisted himself up. "Gaaaaaa… I should have never had that second pack of beer… how did I get to the kitchen? I must have bumped my head or something." Jack stumbled to the living room, where he called his Jack-bots to get him an Advil (cause I can't spell Iveprofan… or whatever…) and a glass of water.

--

Three little mice: The next day! (yes, a Babe knock off)

--

Jack woke to a not so horrible as the day before head ache. He quickly demanded his bots to get him some more painkillers and water…and breakfast.

After a nice breakfast in bed, a hot shower, picking out his outfit, putting on his make-up, and more crap, he went down stairs to work on his robots.

But, he stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw…

Chase Young, at his kitchen table.

Jack cocked an eyebrow and muttered quietly to himself, "Dejavu…" (did I spell that right? I don't have many langue (can't spell) packs on my computer, and when I say 'many' I mean it only reads English...)

"Jack, about last night…" Chase blushed slightly and moved his head to his left.

"What about it? I was just down stairs… but I found myself in the kitchen… um…"

"Eh? You don't remember last night?"

"Um… not much. Just watching The Blood Hound Gang…"

"What's that?"

"It's a band that sings these…'funny' songs… they are one of my favorites bands."

"Ah, well, I'll be going now…" Chase got up and walked to the door.

"Chase, why were you here?"

That stopped him, "Um… I, ah…"

"Chase? What happened?" Jack had a slight hint of worry in his tone.

"I, I came to you because Wuya wouldn't leave me alone…"

"Ah! I told Wuya that I wanted a day off, and she exploded!" Jack grinned a bit.

"Yes… I came to tell you to get rid of her…and you did some stuff and I left…"

"Wait. What did I do?" Jack stepped closer to Chase.

"Um… you came on to me…"

Jack's eyes grew wide and a blush began, "I, I-I-I-I…."

Chase jumped slightly, "No! Nononononononononoooo! Nothing like that happened!"

Jack eased, but his blush deepened.

"You just acted weird, that's all…"

"Oh. Okay…" Jack began to shy.

Chase rubbed his temples, "Yes…." He looked up at Jack, "But, that's not why I'm here."

"Then, why are you here?" Jack cocked his head to the side.

_'Man, he's cute when he's confused…'_ Losing his train of thought? Almost! Chase shook his head, "I was here, because… because…" 

"Yeah?"

"Um… never mind… I-I have to go… bye…" Chase gently got up and quickly walked to the door.

Once Jack was sure Chase was gone, he rubbed himself and shook, "That was close…"

--

Mean while, at the Xiaolin Temple…

--

"Urgh! I HATE dishes!" Raimoundo scrubbed his frustration on the dishes… that makes sense, but does not.

"Rai, shut your yap and do the chores!" Kimiko dried the dish that he handed to her.

Raimoundo mumbled under his breath and scrubbed harder.

After about an hour or two of doing dishes, training, blah, blah, BLEH, he collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His mind wondered…

(-0-)

Raimoundo was alone, in a misty place. Maybe a room, maybe outside,but he heard a strange noise.

_Hiss…_

_Fizzle…_

_Pop…_

It was faint, but he followed the noise to a workbench. Jack Spicer was huddled over it.

_HISS!_

_FIZZLE!_

_POP!_

The noise came from the wielding.

_'Probably working on a robot...' _Rai thought.

"What are you making?" he asked, quite loud, because you have to with all the noise Jack was making. Rai never knew how loud wielding could be.

"Something just for you…" Jack took off his mask and turned to him.

The tanned boy inhaled sharply.

Jack, looked WAY hotter than before, but yet…seemed the same. (Does not make sense? No? Good! That's how I want it!)

The red head held a small, metalicbox.

"Come here, and get your present!" Jack cooed. Raimoundo obeyed and walked slowly to the boy.

As soon as he touched the box, a pale, biker-gloved covered hand gently covered Rai's.

He blushed.

"Raimoundo…" Jack sighed. "Rai-Rai…"

"Jack…"

Jack's face started to get close to his. First,Raimoundo was startled, but he eased and closed his eyes slowly.

"Raimoundo…"

(-0-)

Raimoundo suddenly woke up, for no reason, still in his robes, but what really troubled him, was the stain on his white pants…

"Shit!"

(SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS! GAH! Next chappie will be better! NOT CHAPTER TALK!)

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Either Chapter Two or Three (but mostly Chapter Three): When Omi isn't Omi any more and you find out we are one year into the future of the next season…**

"Raimoundo! What's wrong?" Clay rushed in, along with Omi and Kimiko. "Oh…"

"EWWWW!" Kimiko scrunched her eyes and started to giggle, for the fact that…it just funny! (BAWHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT BITCHES!)

"Well, Raimoundo must have had some pleasant dreams, huh Clay?" Omi joked.

"I liked it better when you were younger and more naive…" Raimoundo barked.

"Well, being a fifteen year old has its advantages, like finally being taller than Kimiko!"

"Only by like, two inches!"

"Yes, but you're eighteen and probably fully grown! I have yet to reach my capacity of height!"

Kimiko gave the still bald one the death stare (and yes, Omi is still cute, just taller, a fuller voice, and doesn't mess up slang as much any more… OH MY GOD! THAT'S NOT OMI AT ALL! –sobs- AAAAAAHHHHHHH! I'VE CREATED THE ANTI-OMI!).

Clay shook his head, "Now, Omi, just because Kimi's a little smaller than you, doesn't mean you tease her. Remember all those times Rai teased you?"

"Oh, yes. That was horrible… but now we can pick on Rai and his small package!" Omi giggled.

"I… HATE… you… Clay…"

--

Chase's Lair…

--

Chase was attending to his kittens, yes that includes Mr. Frizles! (XD)

He was just finished massaging every last cat, in a luxurious cat bed with silk sheets, ivory frame, down pillows, and a king sized, ultimately perfect firmness mattress, when Chase heard a crash in his kitchen.

He hushed his cats, which mewed softly at the noise and shooed them to bed. He quietly closed the large doors, and stealthily sneaked down his halls.

After several corridors, many halls, and a lot of staircases, Chase made it to his kitchen door. Opening the door, just a crack, as quietly as possible, he gazed through the lit gap.

Chase's golden eyes scanned the room. He found no one in the kitchen, but took precautions.

Chase burst in, did some flips, a battle cry, and landed squarely in a fighting stance.

"WUYA!" he firmly said (cause he does not scream), "What are you doing in my home? And how in hell did you knock down that plate?"

"Oh, Chase! I did not knock over that! On of your cat guards did when it thought I was a toy…and why I'm I here? It's-"

"'It's the sniveling boy Jack Spicer! He refuses to get me my wu!' Wuya, I am not going to get wu for you…leave at once." Chase began to head out the exit.

"CHASE! I mean, Chase! If you're not going to get me wu, what about… 'roughing up' the boy for me, eh?"

"Listen, just as Jack has gain an immunity to your threats, he has gave an equally powerful resistant to mine. Face it Wuya, Jack has finally grown up."

"NO! I need that brat! He's the only boy that will get me wu!"

"Wuya, one, shut up you're giving me a head ache, two, get a breath mint, and three, I cannot force Jack to do anything anymore. It seems that his…'fan boy-ness', has finally gave way. Just let him be as well as everyone else that doesn't want you around!"

"Oh, but I believe you want Jack around still…hee, heh…"

Chase stepped back, "What do you know, bitch?"

"I know I saw you crouching over a knocked-out, red-haired boy practically molesting him in his sleep! Tell me Chase, what do I know?"

Chase sighed, "What do you want?"

"Hmmm… my human form, all your shen gon wu, the Xiaolin Warriors, and Jack's, and…a kiss…"

He nearly tossed his cookies at that, "I'm sorry, but I think I got a bit of 'you're out of your mind' stuck in my ear."

"Oh? Do you? Well, then I guess I'll just have to tell EVERYONE, both Heylin and Xiaolin, about your wittle crush on Jacky-Wacky…" Wuya began to cackle.

"I do not have a crush on that _worm_…" Chase hissed.

"'So soft… Smells like… slightly musky…'" Wuya imitated.

He bared his fangs and nodded his head, "Fine! I'll do you bidding…"

"Excellent…"

Chase walked off, mumbling such phrases under his breath as, 'Oh, that harlot is going down' or 'that fucking cunt is going to fucking pay for this shit' or 'That bitch, that fucking bitch blackmailed me! That harlot, slut, bitch, cunt, whoer will pay dearly…' Your choice.

--

Jack's Room…

--

"ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz…ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz…" Yes, that's snoring.

Jack was snug as a bug in an expensive Egyptian cotton rug. Um… I've never seen Egyptian cotton, let only touch it, but I heard its gooooooood.

He sighed and turned over. His gorgeous red hair was in his beautiful ruby-red eyes; a grin was spread wide on his succulent lips; his chest, was in an angelic rhythm that only he can do…ah… heh, heh, he was sleeping like a baby! A hot, albino-licious baby...

Any who, his eyes fluttered open and he slowly raised from the bed in a fashion that was all like, 'Crap, I'm still half a sleep'; he groaned and rubbed his eyes.

He opened them once more and- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jack fell off the bed. "WUYA! DON'T GET IN MY FACE! HOW LONG WERE YOU STARING AT ME? I FEEL SO UNCLEAN!" he panicked.

Wuya rolled her non-existent eyes, "Jack, a new shen gon wu has activated it self!"

"THAT DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

She growled, "Ten seconds."

"Well then, I wanted you out of here ten YEARS ago!"

"I haven't known you for ten years!"

"Yes! I would have never met you! That would have been the best day of my life!"

"But you didn't know me…"

"I know! Okay? But that's not the point! The point is that I wish I never met you! I wish that I never got that puzzle box, I WISH MY DAD WOULD COME HOME FOR MORE THAN A DAY!"

Wuya began to float way, "Jack, sometimes, you can't always get what you want…" She phased through the wall, "But I do… heh, heh, heh…"

--

Xiaolin Temple…

--

"GUYS! GET OFF MY BACK!" Raimoundo yelled at the most tippity-top of his lungs.

"Hmmm…" Kimiko hummed, "YeeeeeeeeeNO!" and she laughed, a horrible laugh, a laugh of a true B-I-T-C-H.

Raimoundo bared his teeth with the utmost wanting to bite her head off and chew it to pieces.

Omi and Clay, however, begged to differ with Kimiko, "Meh… it's gettin' boring tormenting Rai. All he does is whine and complain. If I wanted that, I'd go an' get Jack Spicer… Hey. We haven't seen him in a while. Wonder what HE'S up ta…"

Omi mulled over that, "Hmmm… Who knows? Maybe we should pay him a visit, eh? I'm sure 'Wittle Rai' would enjoy picking on someone that's more PUNY then him!" he stopped and gave a sincere look. "Oh… that sounds most mean… I am feeling guilty much so. We have picked on Jack for no apparent reason, tormented him, beat him to a plug, and destroyed many of his robots, not to forget his house every time we bust in…"

Raimoundo snorted, "One, Omi, it's 'beaten to a pulp', and two, so? It's JACK SPICER! He's a spoiled rich brat that probably never got a spanking in his life! He DESERVES to get as much ASS-WHOOPIN' as possible! I say, LET'S GO GET SOME JACK SPICER ASS!" he blinked. "That didn't sound good…"

"Oh!" Kimiko giggled, "Maybe ya got a hard-on from SPICER! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

Raimoundo blushed.

Kim stared at him, "You did?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe high, maybe low…"

"Oh… my…god…you-you're not serious, are you?"

"If I told you 'yes', will ya leave me alone?"

"Until the shock wears thin, yes…"

"And how long will it be until the shock wears thin?"

"I have no clue…"

"Then, yes… I got a hard on from Jack Spicer! Are ya happy now?"

Omi raised a slim eyebrow, "How can you get a 'hard on' from a boy?"

"Well, I'll be a Brokeback Lover! Rai's a homosexual!" Clay's eyes widened.

"And what is wrong with that?" Rai huffed.

"Excuse me, but I am most confused now… 'Homosexual'? What is the meaning of that word?"

"It means you're a boy how likes boys…"

"Is that possible?"

"Obviously it is since there's a words, bars, clubs, and more dedicated to it…"

"Ah… I know so little about the modern world…"

"Yes! And that's what still makes ya naive! Welcome back buddy!" Rai gave him a hard pat on the back, which sent Omi stumbling forward.

"I'm now even more confused… did the meaning of 'naïve' change to a good thing, rather then being inexperience since I have used it?"

Kimiko gave a quick no, "Of course not! Raimoundo's just happy that you're still the Omi we know and love, and not so corrupted by modern society!"

"Ah! I see now! Thank you Kimiko! You have been MOST helpful!"

"Really?"

"No! Can't you hear the sarcasm in my voice?"

"That's not sarcasm. You need more stress on the whole sentence…you talk like that normally any way…"

"Oh… I COMPLETELY see NOW."

"That's it Omi!"

"What? I'm just talking NORMALLY…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3: Baby Steps are important to a Long Lasting Story...**

Chase was pacing about his throne room, jabbering to himself, "Wuya, that _bitch_, black mailed me. I have to make her human with all her powers, dammit, but if she returns to power, she could easily over power me. If I don't, she blabs about my supposed 'crush' on Spicer… it's not my fault that his hair smells good—" He snarled and plopped onto his seat; he buried his face in his hands in pure, unadulterated frustration.

Chase breathed deeply and thought.

After about five minuets he came up with an idea, "Maybe…" he wondered, "I could tell Spicer how I feel about him… but, even if he acts like it, does he truly like me the same way?"

Oh! If only he could read minds!

Chase grunted. He thought it over again, seeing if there were any loopholes in this horrid plan of Wuya's. "Wait a minuet Wuya… Wuya has no proof that I actually did sniff Jack's hair, while he lay dead cold on the ground, like some pedophile-pervert. I don't have to go through with that horrid agreement!"

And, for _some_ sort of _coincidence_, Wuya herself came floating in, with a smug look on her face, "So, got my shen gon wu yet?"

"Speak of the Devil," Chase smirked, "I was just thinking about you."

"Oh, Chase! Flattery won't get you any, if not ridden _quicker_!"

"Okay, no, I wasn't thinking about you that way, pervert; I just found a loop hole in your _stupidly concocted plan_." He added a very smug twinge at the end.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes; you have no real proof that I indeed do what I 'suppose-ably' did; it's your word against mine, and I don't think anyone would believe you," Chase finished off with a really haughty smile. He'd like to rub this victory in her face.

Wuya just cracked a smile, "Oh, now, I wouldn't say that."

Chase's smile faded, _"What did you do?"_

"Oh, it's just that Jack put security cameras in his home; such a stupid mistake for a supposed evil genius, on your behalf."

The man's eye began to twitch, **_slightly_**, but he quickly regained his composure and stared Wuya right in the swirly eye, "I'll just have to get that tape then."

"Oh! I don't think you could, before Jack sees it. I tipped him off just this morning; I, too, found that very loop hole, and I think Jack just might expose that juicy piece of gossip quite quickly. Imagine, Evil Weekly's cover: _Evil, Elder, Master Mind has a Taste for Younger, Stupider, Less-Evil Boys; Details Inside_. The cover has a photo from that video of you sniffing Jack's hair, full color and blown up. Delicious..."

Chase's face was twisted in absolute horror, or, at least as horror-filled as he would allow. "He wouldn't _dare_."

"Oh, but he's grown, mind you; he can dare."

He scrunched his eyes close, and then, he took a deep breath and blew.

"GAAAAAH!" Wuya struggled against the current of air, but, unfortunately for her, floated through the wall, "I'll get you for that Chase! You haven't seen the last of me!"

"Could you be any more stereotypical? No wonder villains like Dick Dastardly and that Syndrome are so, so, so… stereotypical," he sighed, "That was smooth." His eyes widened, "Oh God, I think Spicer is rubbing off on me; maybe it's the same for him? Please?"

(You know, I don't understand how a ghost could be blown away like that, but it was in the cartoon once…)

--

Jack's Lair of E-V-O-L!!!

--

Jack was lounging on his couch, holding the security tape that Wuya said has "interesting footage" on it. "This must be what happened when I was knocked out, obviously. But the question is: Should I watch it? She is a witch after all; she could have somehow bewitched it. They can curse things, still, in ghost form right?"

"Well, Master Jack, sir," Logi-Bot said, "The sprit maybe able to do so, if it is the center of power of magic."

"I know that." He sneered at his newest invention: A robot that had a variety of views for any situation.

"Yes; you did program me to view your sights."

"Well, I also programmed you for other views," Jack sat up on the couch, waving the tape in front of the android.

"They have a margin of error. My ability of others logic is only made from your observations."

"I know that."

"Then why are you asking me?"

"Because you're programmed to view others views in which I am asking you to turn to so that you may help me with the current situation!" Jack shouted. "I gave you fucking artificial intelligentsia, why don't you fucking use it!?"

"But the margin of error—"

"I know about the fucking margin of error! I don't fucking care about the fucking margin of error! I just want my mother-fucking answers from mother-fucking you!" Jack bared his teeth in such rage, well, if he had the element of fire, we wouldn't ever need to worry about the tape, ever again, unless you use the Reo-Reverso, but ONLY if you use it.

"Do we really need such language?" the Logi-Bot asked, in a sincere tone.

Jack started to breathe hard, "Logi-Bot, you're making me… angry… you…wouldn't like me… when I'm… angry…"

"You sounded like William Shatner and stole that from the Incredible Hulk. I think you owe royalties now…"

Jack rose from the couch, walked over in a huff to the robot, and… well…this is the last time you'll ever see the Logi-Bot whole. Even if he's got that rare non-weight-gaining disease, he still has plenty of muscle, even if it's in minor proportions.

--

The Xiaolin Temple

--

"Okay, now what?" Raimoundo asked the others. "What now, now what?"

"We can lasso somethin'," Clay suggested in a mono-toned voice. "Somethin' lasso, can we?"

Kimiko shook her head, "Nah. What about a four way brawl on my PDA wi-fi? Wi-fi four way brawl?"

"Training! Uh… Gniniart…" Omi said.

Everyone stared at the young monk.

"How in the fuck do you pronounce that!?" Rai point up to "gniniart" in the text.

"Nin-nee-art. The 'g' is silent, like in 'gnat' or 'gnome'," Omi stated smartly.

"Don't be a smart-ass, ass-smart."

"My ass is smart?"

"Shudda uppa! Appu adduhs!" Rai shouted.

"How do you pronounce that, Rai-MOO-do!" he pointed up at the line before.

"Ah-POO ah-DUHS! Like it's spelt, doofus!"

"Ouyay oofusday!" Omi shouted back.

"Ohsay? Ouyay tupidsay, Winkietay!" Rai slinged back.

"Isay otnay Winkietay orsay tupidsay! Isay martersay hantay ouyay; Isay ebay etterbay insay edbay ootay!"

The Brazilian twisted his face into hate, "Ohsay, ightray? Ikelay ouyay eversay etgay aidlay ybay anyonesay!"

"Isay hallengecay ouyay ootay asay Iaolinxay Howdownsay, Iamoundoray!"

"Ringbay itsay, Winkietay!"

They two lunged at each other, clawing and biting into each other like wild, sex crazed animals, only without the sex.

"Idiots," Kimiko sighed. "Boys are so stupid."

Clay cleared his throat.

"Oh! Sorry! I mean they are so stupid, not boys." She gave a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever…"

(I hope I did the Pig Latin right...uh…I, too, don't know what that was about…)

--

Chase Young…

--

He had just finished taking care of Wuya when he gave a sharp huff, "I'll just have to go see if Spicer has watched that tape." He tottered to the eyeball seeing glass, poking the pupil so that he was able to see into Jack's laboratory. Chase saw some sort of scrap heap by an enraged boy, then the boy lifting up the videotape. "Now, do I or don't I watch?" the figure asked itself.

"Ah…there's time." Chase sighed.

He snapped his fingers—

"EEEEEEAAAAAWWWWWWKKKK!"

"You scream so much like a little girl," Chase said annoyed, picking his ear with his pinkie.

"You're…you're…you are…." Jack literally growled and slammed his fist on his nightstand, "OW!" He babied his hand. "Metal…_hard_…"

"Yes, now what's two plus two?"

"Shut up and state your business before I sick Scruffy on you!"

Chase snorted, "What matter of machine is that?"

Jack smirked and whistled, "SCRUFFERS! Come and help Daddy get the stupid lizard away!"

An assortment of clicks and barks came from upstairs. Chase got a good look at the basement door, "Oh, a doggy door."

Just as he said that, a big blob of fur can flying through and bit him on his hand.

"SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Chase waved his hand in the air, trying to dislodge the animal from his fingers. "GRRRRAAAAARRR!" The dog went flying towards Jack, whom made a clean catch.

"Oh nose! Scuffers-Uffers okayee wayee?" Jack held the black Bulldog pup to his face. "Is Daddy's wittle Suffers okay?"

The puppy licked the boy's face; Jack giggled, "Yeshy, weshy! My wittle Bully-Wooly is okayaly dokealy! Yesh! My baby-waby is safey-wafey!" Jack cooed and made faces at the pup. "Yesh! Whose a good wittle doggy?"

_Ruf! Ruf! _Scruffy wagged his tail.

"Yesh! Whose an evil, good doggy that's a wittle killwer?"

_Ruf!_

"Yesh! Whose Daddy's most pwecious wittle bundle of joyee?"

_Ruf! Ruf, ruf!_

"Yesh! That's a—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chase screamed, "IT'S A DAMNABLED, FUCKING, STUPID, FUCKING MUTT!" He hates baby talk that's meaninglessl; doesn't everyone?

Jack gasped and placed Scruffy on the couch and covered the dog's ears, "Don't talk about my Scruffy-Wuffy like that!"

Scruffy whimpered.

"My Scruffers is sensitive!" he sat down and huggled the dog, "I wuv him! It's that wight, Scruffers? And you wuv meh?"

_Ruf! Ruf! –whimper-_

"That's my boyee!"

Chase growled, "Okay, I guess I apologize, but that's not the point." He pointed to the tape on the ground, "You see that tape—"

"Did Wuya do something to it?" Jack said, startled and holding his puppy closer.

"Um…it's her…porn tape?"

_"OH GOD!"_ Jack shrieked, _"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" _

Chase picked up the tape and looked at it. Jack made a gagging noise. The man nodded and disappeared in a flash of lighting.

The boy let the dog go, which trotted up stairs. "Why in Holly Hell would he want…that?" Jack shuttered and started to pick at the Logi-bot parts.

Chase threw the tape to his minions, whom crushed it and chewed it until it was a pile of black plastic and ripped tape. "Now, there's no proof. I don't have to do those favors." He heard a loud, angry yowl, "CHASE! YOU ARE GOING TO PAY!"

"Oh, I thought I might have some piece and quiet for once."

Wuya zipped into the throne room, "YOU FUCKER! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME!"

Chase yawned. "Wuya, the deal is off. The tape is destroyed."

"_Only_ the tape?"

The man raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean, '_only_ the tape'?"

"Oh, just," Wuya floated around Chase's head, "Jack keeps a…'memory bank' of copies of security recordings."

"Wait, so you say that he could just check the footage, now."

The ghost "nodded", "He has a somewhat back-up plan, for most of his projects."

"And where would this '"memory bank"' be?"

"Well, to humor you, it's in his main computer. It cannot be deleted, so the only way to destroy it to destroy the boy's computer, and we know how much he loves that..."

--Flash back—

"Oh computer," Jack cooed, while he cleaned the key board with a _very _small tooth brush, "You're the bestest, bestest, best computer ever!" He started to tenderly wipe the screen with a _very_ soft cloth, "Yesh! You're perfect with your (really high number) memory (Author: Uh…I know NOTHING about memory), your plasma screen (-sob-), and don't forget you awesome, mighty processor (…I don't know what that is; I'm just goin' by what the Dell commercials says what's good). Perfection, you are, my love…pure, unadulterated, absolute, perfection…" Jack dusted of the tower and hugged it, kissing its on button…

--End—

"That was extremely creepy floating in on that, mind you," Wuya "shivered". "I think he was either adjusting 'himself' or taking the pants off…"

Chase gave a really disgusted/shocked look, sort of like when you know the emanate something is coming, but it actually turns into the complete opposite. That, and if you catch a male friend/room mate/or other male relations masturbating. Those two combined is pretty much the look Chase Young was giving that minuet. "Okay; I'm now never looking at that boy the same ever again…or that computer—if what you say is true," Chase paused for a moment, moving his finger to his chin in thought. _But what do I do now? Destroy the person I'm trying to get in bed with's most prized possession, give Wuya her human form back, _ensuring _that the world _will_ be hers to control (and myself raped), or, perhaps, just tell the simple and plan _truth_ to Spicer…that his body is amazing and I want to have bad, dirty, hot sex with him…I think it'll be easier to just let Wuya rule the world and try to back-stab her then tell Jack my dirty feelings… _

Wuya sighed and "rolled her eyes." Even if it was annoying seeing Chase and not being able to dig claw deep into him (Author: All obsessive Chase fans feel the same way Wuya…), she had to admit: Chase was pretty darn cute when he was in deep thought. She "stuck out her lip" and pouted. _I guess being a ghost isn't all that's cracked up to be; darn the pros and cons of the damnable forms!_ "Are you done, yet? It's getting boring just floating around here."

"Wuya, for once in your pitiful life, keep your trap shut. I know you're sexually frustrated (being that I've only let you get me blow jobs (Author: When she was human)) but when I'm thinking of how the future will be and the effects I, you, Spicer, and such, have on it, I need to keep your big, fat, purple pie-hole clamped shut, understand?"

Wuya "pouted" again and nodded her "head", "But, Chaseums, you have a rather embarrassing future if you don't choose quickly…"

Chase sighed, and turned his back. You know, the simple answer to this "huge" problem is if Wuya does confess Chase's love to Jack, Chase could just deny it, like anyone who doesn't want their crush out would, but this is an "honorable" man we're talking about.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Excellent…" Wuya cackled. "Oh, _so excellent_…."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Poison. **

Chase cursed himself inwardly at what he was about to do. He was an evil super-villain, not some petty thief. He could kill anyone and anything just by using his pinkie; he had no use for trivial shen gon wu. Even if he ever used wu, it was when he desperately needed to, or to execute a plan that he wish not spend much energy on; Chase needs nothing.

Still, he rather not have his secrets out...

Silent as the night, he crawled into the shen gon wu vault, using his night vision to look threw all the drawers. Picking and plucking from each, he placed back a decoy wu, left over from Wuya's encounter with Dojo's friend, Chucky. He left as quickly as possible, only looking back to see if he tripped any alarms.

Scowling, he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

--

"Excellent, Chaseums…now, all I need is that sniveling, idiot's—I mean your _lover's_," Wuya placed a nasty inflection on "love", "shen gon wu and I'll be in control! That, and when I get my body back…"

"What, what are you going to do?" Chase droned.

"Well—that will be a surprise…" Wuya chuckled and floated to the wu pile. "Well, we got the Reversing Mirror and the Serpent's Tale, so lets make me human. It'll be easier to get the wu that way."

The elder man frowned and picked up the pair, setting the mirror down and walking a short distant away. Wuya glided over to the mirror and "smiled."

"Are you ready?"

"Well, lets see…I might have a go at looking at some male supermodels' dressing in their room, not being able to touch them and all; then maybe all creep through all the stores and not be able to wear or touch anything —OF COURSE I'M READY, FUCKING FAGGOT!"

Chase made a slight growling noise as he readied himself. "Serpent's Tail!" He turned clear and started to speed towards Wuya.

"REVERSING MIRROR!"

There was a big flash of light. Chase backed-off from the source. When it died down, he looked to Wuya, seeing her in her human form.

"Hmmm…" she hummed, stretching her body and flexing her muscles. "It feels good to be human…again—once more—and such." She twitched her fingers, signaling Chase to come to her.

Chase moaned quietly to himself and walked steadily, with his head high, to Wuya.

"What I good servant," Wuya cooed. "Now, let us find my castle's whereabouts, shall we?"

She led them out of the Chase's Lair and out into the forest, looking around all the tress and such. "I feel like a different décor and material for my castle this time. This forest will serve nicely…" Wuya smiled and lifted her hand, a greenish glow manifesting about it. Soon, some large trees and rocks were surrounded by the same glow; the ground began to shake as the trees and rocks grew and twisted about one another, form and contorting into the shape Wuya desired.

The ground calmed and Chase said, "I didn't know you could control wood as well…"

"Well, Chase, what part of 'witch' don't you understand? The part that we can do magic, or the part in which with such magic, we can control anything?" Wuya smugly snuffed.

"I believe the part in which you forgot about witches also being bitches. And also them being ugly harlots."

Wuya snarled and bared her fangs; "I suggest you watch your tongue before I snip it out!"

"I suggest you watch your back before I take a rusty knife and stab it."

She growled and backhanded the warrior, knocking him off-balance and stumbling to the ground. Chase placed his hand tenderly on the slightly swollen spot.

"That wasn't very nice, Wuya."

"And neither was the back crack, but I suggest we get a move on." Wuya turned her back and raised her hands high over her head. Once more, her hands glowed green; clouds began to form in the sky, dark and ominous. Some nearby trees wilted and twisted into death, and most meadows and fields turned gray with rocks and dirt. The sky patches turned a dark, dark green, almost black, and Wuya cackled. "Now, my web is out, we will wait for the flies…"

--

Xiaolin Temple…

--

"Master Fung! Master Fung!" an elder monk ran into the wu vault, in which Master Fung and the Xiaolin Dragons were at, "Wuya is back in power!"

"What!?" The four Dragons gasped.

"Ah…I see clearly now," Master Fung said, clear and calm. "Wuya got the shen gon wu and returned to power. She stole them all so that we couldn't use them against her."

"Well," Omi said, "Couldn't we use the same technique as the first time? Going back and time and getting the puzzle box from Dashi?"

"No Omi; I fear not. She has stolen the Sands of Time."

"But, Jack has a time machine," Kimiko stated. "I'm sure he'll help…again."

Master Fung shook his head, "I fear not; she'll take care of him, soon."

The Dragon of the Wind bit his lip in thought; he had to admit that something about Jack made him all giggly inside. Maybe because the boy was weak and needed someone to take care of him that made Raimoundo want to protect him, or maybe even the fact that Jack had turned a bit more dashing since they first met, but whatever it was, Raimoundo didn't want anything to happen to him.

"Maybe we should go after Jack; if we get him away, he could build a time machine for us," _and I can keep and eye on him_, Raimoundo thought to himself.

"I'm not sure Wuya would allow that either," Master Fung sighed. "She'll destroy us all if we harbor someone like Spicer."

"Hmm…"

Clay scratched under his hat, "Well, lets see what damage that witch did."

They all climbed up the stairs and pushed open the door to find that even though the temple and some surrounding land was green, all else was bland and filled with death as the first time that they've seen Wuya in power.

"At least we know where Wuya is," Clay said, pointing to a large, gnarled castle in the distant.

"Yes," Master Fung nodded, "We can always count on Wuya for a grand entrance."

--

Jack's Lair…

--

A Jack-bot rushed into the lab. "Sir, there's been a drastic change in the environment outside."

"What kind?" Jack asked, lifting his head from his project.

"The kind that includes green and death, sir." Several more Jack-bots came into the laboratory.

"'Green and death'? That must be Wuya…" He placed his wrench down and sneered. "Who was the idiot that turned Wuya back into human? I bet it was Raimoundo again; he's such an airhead…heh." He took a deep breath. "Well, I guess I should see what I can do. Can't have Wuya ruling the world." Jack grabbed his Heli-bot and opened its little secret compartment. He quickly crammed in his glob gun, his laser gun, the Monkey Staff, Jet Bootsu, a large, heavy wrench, five pairs of goggles, all identical to his own, a Tupperware container that had pudding in it, several pairs of underwear, a box of small, yet powerful, grenades, a Uzi, one Tommy gun, several cases of bullets, and a picture of Wuya in an embarrassing situation…. What? If he can make a Time Machine, he can make a vortex in his backpack to hold all his gear. You should see the place he's got in there. Now that's an ultimate party house!

Jack strapped on his fully loaded and equipped Heli-pack on and walked upstairs. "Mom, Dad, if you're home, I'll be doing some suicidal stuff so I can control the world and one day smite all who oppose me; see you later," he opened the front door and froze. "Yeah…this is Wuya's work. Is that her castle? Hmm…I would have just taken Chase's. That place is swank enough." He saw in the distance Wuya's large fortress in the distance. Even though the green fog was thick, you could still see the outline of the boastfully huge building.

Jack's eyes began to water; he clutched his throat and began to cough. "The…mist is…poisonous," he spat between his cough spasms while backing back into his home. He slammed the door shut and took a deep breath of the air, finding it a bit easier to breathe, though the miasma floated about his feet. "I wonder if Mom and Dad are okay," Jack said, moving towards the stairs. Climbing the steps, he turned and saw that the green fog was creeping under the front door and some cracks though a window. "Damn cheap weather stripping!" Jack spat and rushed up the stairs. He opened his parent's room, finding it empty; he panicked. He dashed about the upper house, finding nothing until he looked at his room. On there was a large sticky note. Jack picked it off and read:

_Dear Jacky, _

_Your father and I are going to a party at the Munster's place. Be good. Ask one of the cooks to cook your dinner; we'll be back late. _

_ 3 Mommy _

_P.S. Could you tell your Jack-bots to put new weather strip in? The installers use cheap stuff and refuse to fix it. _

"Damn it all," Jack snarled. At least in the vicinity of his home he could protect his family (minus Dad; he sucks monkey balls). He walked to the stairway and looked down the steps. The fog covered the whole floor of the level. With his lab being in the basement, how could he withstand the poison? His gas mask was there…or was it?

Jack grabbed his bag and unzipped it; pushing the top items out of the way, he stepped onto a silver-ish platform and pushed a button on his watch. He suddenly started to move down into the Heli-pack. He watched the lights move upward as he went deeper into the backpack. The platform stopped and Jack stepped off; he opened a nearby mahogany door.

"Oh where oh where could my gas mask have gone, oh where oh where could it be? With its ears cut short, and its tail cut off, oh where oh where could it be?" He chuckled. He picked up a box marked "Poison" and found an old comic box. "No time for Super Man one now, I gotta find my gas mask!" He dropped the box right over the mint condition comic again and dashed about the room. Finally, after sifting through the complete collection of the original G.I. Joe action figures, he found his gas mask. Jack hummed his way back up to his backpack entrance.

Slipping on the mask, he walked down stairs and out the door. Jack walked a bit easier than before. The air smelt of fungus, mud, and other such earthy scents even though the mask did a pretty good job of filtering the poison parts of the miasma.

Jack walked about, seeing what damage Wuya had done; all the trees were gnarled and dead, the animals either had the same faith or were close to it. He even saw a few that were mutated by the poison. These were mostly the larger animals, like some of the large birds. Some looked like lizard-like Cyclopes, while others looked like large marsupials. The birds mostly mutated into dinosaur like creatures or grew much larger. Jack saw that most of the four-legged friends (or now fiends) were very large. He saw a bear that towered over the trees that were nearly forty feet tall. Jack avoided those at all cost. He even saw that the earth and water itself was contaminated by Wuya's magic; some lakes and rivers he saw were thick with green ooze that bubbled. Some open patches of ground (they were once meadows) were black and steaming some sort of green gas. _Geesh…are all immortal villains obsessed with green and black?_ Jack thought to himself. Just then, he felt the earth tremble under his feet.

Jack screamed as he fell backwards onto the black soil. A large, purplish-pink rock golem erupted from underneath him. _That thing _has_ to be gay_… Jack thought, gasping at it. He tried to get up, but the black soil was tar. He struggled to get free, but the tar was too sticky. "Oh shit! Death by drowning or death by crushing; what a lovely choice…"

The monster plucked the boy with ease out of the sticky stuff. It lifted Jack to his face, staring down at him with large, green eyes of fire; it opened its mouth and roared, making Jack gag from its horrid breath that smelt of decay. It snarled showing off its array of numerous items that made up its very sharp teeth, such as large pieces of jagged metal and such. Jack stared, wide-eyed and scared, at the creature. He was sure glad he packed those extra pairs of underwear. With a careless toss, the creature threw Jack high into the air; the boy was screaming as he plummeted into the large, dark hole that the golem called its mouth.

--

Wuya's Castle…

--

"Ah…one of my search golems has caught someone!" Wuya cackled.

Chase sneered and growled.

"Lets see who it is!"

Wuya signaled for its entrance to her throne room. The doors were opened by two, large, possessed trees with no one face, but many; each portrayed a single emotion. When the trees were in a certain mood, the faces would shift about, placing the motion desired onto a large knot hole where the face was suppose to be; the face that both chose was a wicked smirk. They watched as a large, purple golem moved slowly to where their Empress Wuya sat.

"Jack? They caught you!? I told them to guard my surrounding area!" Wuya sneered.

"I don't huddle up in my laboratory when some harlot, bitchy witch tries to take over _my _world!" Jack spat from behind the purple bars of the golem.

Chase chuckled. "See, told ya."

Jack gasped in horror, "She got you too?"

Wuya snickered horribly; her laugh sounded as if someone was strangling a poor bag of kittens. "Oh, Chase released me!"

"What the FUCK? I thought Chase had sense!"

"Blackmail!" she fluttered, still in her mirth.

"Blackmail? Why didn't you just turn her human and kill her? I'm sure she'd be shut up for good."

Wuya stopped her giggling and looked at Chase questionably.

The man's eyes widened, "I guess I got ahead of myself—"

"'Ahead?' 'AHEAD!' You got 'ahead' of yourself? How the fuck does that happen? You're Mister Master of Thinking and Evilness! I just thought of a plan that took—"

"You're getting ahead of your mind, Spicer," Chase growled. "I will kill you…"

"I'M READY TO BE SENT TO THE DUNGEON NOW!!!" Jack screamed, cowering into the corner of the golem.

"Oh, okay then," Wuya said, "Take him away."

The purple golem grunted as a large hole in the stone floor opened, revealing stairs to the dungeon.

"I'll meet you later for endless torment, blah, blah, you know."


End file.
